Communiqué recently began working with Fierce, Inc., a leadership development and training company that empowers companies of all sizes and in a variety of industries to adapt to and thrive in the ever-evolving work environment. The company has worked alongside leading brands such as Starbucks, Costco and Walmart, igniting productive dialogue among employees and enriching relationships, as well as organizations’ cultures.
Last month, our team had the pleasure of joining Jim Sorensen, director of program development at Fierce, to take part in its award-winning training program. The day proved to be a success—chock-full of lessons for professional and personal relationships that, as Fierce founder Susan Scott mentions in her book Fierce Conversations, are both intuitive and revolutionary.
With the New Year in full swing, I want to share the key takeaways I garnered and the principles that I plan to incorporate into my 2016 professional—and even personal—development goals.
1. The conversation is the relationship—According to Scott, “our lives succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one conversation at a time.” So what does that mean to me?
Each conversation you have — or don’t have — is either building or deteriorating the relationship you have with that person, so in order to enrich these relationships we must engage in meaningful conversations—as the conversation is the relationship. So how exactly do you do this?
2. Ask meaningful questions and then actually listen— While many of us may believe we’re asking meaningful questions—and that may be true—often we lose sight of actually listening to the answer. When asking a question, you should be listening to learn, not to reply.
I think we’re all guilty of letting our thoughts wander during a conversation, nodding along absent mindedly or scanning emails while we talk on the phone. This is a great example of how easily we can get distracted and the person talking can often see or sense the inattention, negatively impacting the relationship.
To avoid impairing a relationship by not actively listening, you must invest in the conversation. Enlist others’ opinions. Bring your curiosity. Give your undivided attention. Ask thoughtful questions and listen to the answers. Look them in the eyes while listening. By doing so you’re building emotional capital with that person and investing in your relationship—and will likely learn some valuable things along the way.
3. Reevaluate your context filter— Personally, the lesson from the training that really spoke to me was to realistically evaluate situations. Sounds simple, but we often get wrapped up in our own “realities” and have difficultly stepping outside our own truths.
In her book, Scott contends “perhaps what we thought was the truth is no longer the truth in today’s environment” and challenges us to “interrogate reality.”
Our upbringing, culture, education and experiences inform our personal contexts. What this means in day-to-day life is that everyone sees the world through his/her own context. In order to build relationships and be successful in business, we must remove ourselves from our “realities” and “truths,” and welcome others’ insights and ideas to the table for a more well-rounded “truth.” Ask yourself who sees what I don’t see and seek out their perspective on the topic. By being flexible and open to others’ perspectives, you’ll give yourself and your business a competitive advantage—one that challenges reality.
The Fierce training truly opened my eyes to the powerful effect our day-to-day conversations have on our relationships. And, as Scott mentions in her book, these lessons are both commonsensical and revolutionary—Fierce conversations are unattainable and offer a fresh lens for building, maintaining and enriching relationships. I learned that by being authentic, curious and open to others’ perspectives, you can enhance your relationships and garner the most from both ends. These lessons only begin to touch upon all the applicable principles we learned, but nonetheless are crucial to enriching relationships and can easily be applied to professional relationships, as well as personal.
Tags: building relationships, Fierce Training Program, lessons learned, Meaningful Conversations, Professional Relationships Filed under: COMMUNIQUÉ PR