When you devote time, effort, and energy to a project, it can feel like your work is a piece of yourself. If you’re emotionally invested in your project or unprepared to acknowledge that there may be room for improvement, feedback can feel like an attack on your self-worth and erode your confidence.

However, receiving and using feedback is an essential part of growth. Helpful and well-delivered advice can help you improve your performance, verify and chart a path toward your goal, and recognize your strengths and weaknesses.  Additionally, thoughtful reflection on feedback can broaden your thinking, address logical fallacies and help you overcome cognitive biases.

In the world of PR, we constantly get feedback from clients, journalists, co-workers and managers. Hearing and internalizing feedback without becoming defensive, offended or upset is essential to career success. But it’s equally important that those providing critique do so in a helpful, constructive manner.

Feedback is a gift; giving good feedback and taking critiques in stride are skills. Since these skills don’t come naturally, I’ve included a few tips on successfully giving and receiving feedback below.

Giving Feedback

Unfortunately, according to a 2019 Gallup poll, only 26% of employees strongly agree that the feedback they receive helps them improve, likely because of poorly delivered or unhelpful critiques. Feedback that is unwelcome, vague, harsh, uninformed, superficial, or that comes from a place other than a genuine desire to improve performance is unlikely to be accepted. Destructive criticism can say more about the giver than the receiver – take this feedback with a grain of salt.

For best results, consider taking this path when giving feedback:  

1. Confirm that the other party is ready and interested in your feedback. Unsolicited feedback is rarely as appreciated as when someone requests input.
2. Recognize the positive elements and the achievements evident in the work. This focus will help identify strengths and other elements that could be repeated in the future. Throughout the process, it’s a good idea to stick to “I” statements (like “I appreciated…” or “I noticed…”) and focus on the project and related behaviors rather than the person or their identity.
3. Ask questions. Pose open-ended questions about the feedback receiver’s intention, choices, and other elements that might help them examine their work from another angle or perspective. Asking for their self-reflection can allow you to reinforce or question the receiver’s perspective.
4. Point out areas for improvement. For instance, highlight aspects that aren’t successful or seem contrary to the goal of the work. If appropriate, offer suggestions and advice on how to address these issues. Most people appreciate specific and actionable ideas, so avoid offering feedback that’s only focused on criticism of their past work.
5. Ask if the other person has questions, and then wrap up. Take the opportunity to reiterate your perspective and the project’s strengths so the conversation can end on a positive note.

Just as a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, structuring feedback sessions in this manner can ensure that the person giving feedback doesn’t focus only on the elements they dislike about the work but balances the feedback with praise.

Handling Feedback Professionally

Facing mistakes or shortcomings can make you defensive or embarrassed and receiving feedback takes practice. Fortunately, you can build your skills in this area. Here are some key strategies that can help you accept feedback graciously and professionally:

• Seek feedback often. When you ask for input regularly, you can get more incremental lessons that are easier to handle and implement. It also can reinforce the relationship between the person giving you feedback and yourself.
• Prepare yourself. Before requesting or receiving feedback, take a moment to separate your ego and worth from your work. Remind yourself that this is a learning experience, not a judgment of your character.
• Remember that feedback is a gift. The person giving you feedback is taking time to share their perspective and, together, you are both working to improve your performance. As such, it’s nice to thank the person for their time, effort and support. Expressing gratitude may also make people more inclined to help you in the future.
• Reiterate what you hear. Paraphrase what you’re hearing and the messages you’re taking away from the conversation. This practice allows them to confirm, clarify or give nuance to critiques and helps you to internalize what the other person is trying to say.
• Appraise the advice quality. In a feedback session, the reviewer may not be as knowledgeable on the subject, invested in your project, or have the same understanding of your goal. Permit yourself to decide whether it makes sense for you to implement their feedback.
• Take time to process your emotions and put your feelings into words. Known as affect labeling, this can help calm your brain’s emotional reactivity. After you identify your feelings, you can process the messages behind the feedback and improve how you accept feedback. For instance:
  • Are you defensive because you were happy with the original version? You likely went into the critique looking for validation, not growth.
  • Are you frustrated you didn’t get actionable feedback? You may not be asking the right questions.
  • Are you taking critiques as slights against you as a person? Remind yourself of other praiseworthy aspects of your identity.
• Get a second opinion. To offset any perceived biases or substandard critique styles, consider asking a second party for feedback on your work. Take what you’ve learned in the first critique to examine different areas of your work.

Feedback is inevitable in the workplace, so it can be helpful to redefine feedback as valuable support. No matter what you’re working on, you should prepare yourself and expect that change will be required when you walk out of a feedback session. Make sure that you’re ready to work on yourself and your performance.

In a professional environment, excuses, negative reactions, and emotions like anger can limit your potential for growth. Accepting input, ideas and feedback requires maturity and emotional intelligence, though on rare days, you might find that you don’t have the requisite emotional fortitude to handle critiques. In those instances, be generous with yourself and take as much time as you need to process and address feedback. While it’s essential to trust the person giving feedback, asking people with whom you have a close relationship can backfire if they can’t be honest. You may also learn that certain people aren’t prepared, interested, or able to share the types of insight that will help you grow and improve.

For the best results, approach people who can give you helpful feedback, learn how to manage your emotions, parse through the critiques to identify the valuable nuggets of actionable feedback, and then make plans to address the necessary changes. Taken in the right frame of mind and with the proper emotional attitude, feedback can be an influential teacher that can help you deliver the best results.